


The green glow surrounded by darkness

by indecisivemess



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Almost smut, Angst and Feels, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Intrusive Thoughts, Established Relationship, I didnt know any of those tags was gonna be official and i feel kinda robbed now tbh, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intrusive Thoughts, Logan just wanted a day off, M/M, Not Beta Read, Soft Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, idk if i should add anything else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:55:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26350762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indecisivemess/pseuds/indecisivemess
Summary: "All that Logan had asked for was to have some peace and quiet. Forget about work and responsibilities for a few hours and simply bask in the comfort of a good book, some appropriate lighting, and maybe the soft sound of piano music playing in the background. He was an extremely simple man, and a very sincere one too, so when he had communicated to his fellow sides to not disturb him for the rest of the day, he thought that his wish had been fulfilled when the silence stretched out soothingly.What he hadn’t expected is that he’d find Remus hiding in the darkness, all curled up inside of the tub of his private bathroom."
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Kudos: 55





	The green glow surrounded by darkness

**Author's Note:**

> The title for this is prolly gonna be horrendous but *do NOT* downplay the tags. I was pretty vague for what I had intended to do in the first place, but pls, for everything that is holy, if you're a child, do not read this. At least 16+ should be the thing for this fic. I am a traumatized adult venting through Remus and I dont want to bring down with me those that cannot handle the emotional toll of such things. 
> 
> That being said, Ive been having this intrusive thought. every. single. time. I try to step into the shower, and its always the same- its very vivid and graphic, and thats why this exists. To try to stop it, cuz its getting kinda ridiculous, honestly.

All that Logan had asked for was to have some peace and quiet. Forget about work and responsibilities for a few hours and simply bask in the comfort of a good book, some appropriate lighting, and maybe the soft sound of piano music playing in the background. He was an extremely simple man, and a very sincere one too, so when he had communicated to his fellow sides to not disturb him for the rest of the day, he thought that his wish had been fulfilled when the silence stretched out soothingly.

What he hadn’t expected is that he’d find Remus hiding in the darkness, all curled up inside of the tub of his private bathroom. Well, he could admit the duke was following his demands. He had kept the silence, and hadn’t gone out of his way to disturb him. In fact, the logical side couldn’t have predicted that Remus would be sitting there in the first place, and he would have never found it if he hadn’t settled for taking a quick shower before going back to his very much needed leisure time.

The dark creativity’s eyes glowed green even after Logan turned on the lights, a radioactive type of green, and the nerd hated that he was enticed by the look.

\- Hey, hot and bothered! – he suddenly spoke up, a screel that made Logan’s ears ring – What has brought you to my quarters?

\- This is my bathroom – Logic replied shortly, confusion clear in his eyes, and Remus could only click his tongue at the way he dismissed him, making small, unrealistic noises as he propped himself up.

Logan could see he wasn’t wearing shoes, or pants for that matter, but at least he had some underwear on. He could already feel the stress building back up again, just at the base of his neck, tightening up his shoulders, and he could only sigh defeatedly.

\- Things really do just fly over your head, huh – he reached over and it seemed for a second that he would ruffle Logan’s immaculate hair, but instead, he took off his glasses, weirdly slowly, and the nerd searched his mind for a reason to stop him, finding himself out of ideas.

Remus kept the same level of care with his specs as he set them down on the counter, but it was almost like his soft touches had run out by performing those actions, hands _and_ tentacles suddenly and intrusively touching Logan’s clothes. The struggle was close to none as his brain caught up with his desperate movements, and when it finally did, he was fighting over keeping his polo on against a particularly dirty set of hands.

\- _Remus_ – he hissed, doing his best to glare at him, but the duke was stronger, and the black fabric was quickly stretching under his force. It would surely tear if he kept this going.

In a rushed decision, Logic simply stopped fighting back, intending to surprise the other with a fast snap of fingers that would make his shirt disappear, but the incessant pulling brought him forward just as he tried to do so, his widening eyes colliding with Remus’ unexpectedly firm chest.

Both parties seemed frozen over the development of the situation, so much so that Logan needed a moment to catch his bearings before moving away and clearing his throat, the snap that followed it being the only factor that awoke the other side involved.

\- I don’t understand your insistence over dispatching me of my clothes, but here – he proceeded to vaguely gesture up and down his figure, most of the fabric blinking out of existence as he chose to only keep his boxers, for the time being.

Remus’s green eyes blinked a couple of times, and Logan watched as they progressively lost their fluorescence, his tentacles retreating behind his back just as his expressions settled down.

\- It looked like you wanted to take a shower, and I wanted to join – he mumbled like a sour kid after being denied of what he asked for, but something about his body language told Logan his partner wasn’t simply sulking.

\- I can see why you believe that. After all, I was going to do that.

The duke brightened up in a matter of seconds, the excitement physically lifting up his gloomy eyes and slumping posture, but Logic wasn’t done talking.

\- But I will not proceed until you justify yourself – he allowed Remus a beat of silence to understand his words before continuing. – Why were you hiding in my bathroom?

It was at times like this that the logical side appreciated his own sharp reasoning and quality deductive skills. It wasn’t a common occurrence for Creativity to stand anywhere in other side’s rooms, unless a prank or a mischief was in the works, but considering the silence, and the lack of blood or explosions of any kind, that didn’t seem to be the case. And from the very obvious way Remus’s shoulders dropped back to his optimal sad posture, even if somewhat hidden by all the ruffles, Logan could not ignore all the facts he had already gathered.

\- Well, you know how it is! – the duke started, his loud voice sounding forced and overly theatrical for the sake of hiding his emotions. – Just lil’ old creativity, not making any sense! Uh, ever...

\- Perhaps.

And it was true. Intrusive thoughts seldomly could be explained through logic, and since Remus was basically a conglomerate of those under a very dark, translucid suit, Logan held little to no power in deconstructing his posture. However, nothing was stopping him from hitting all of his weak spots until the dark side caved in.

With that in mind, the logical side stepped closer to the tub in which his partner was standing, reaching his hands for his broad shoulders to use as leverage. Not once had he broken eye contact, using that to his advantage by forcing the duke to truly look at him, and by the time his legs had sung over the porcelain edge, Remus was already shaking slightly, the very clear mixture of arousal and shock shining in his pupils. The dark side was hypersexual by nature, for reasons Logan was still analyzing, and he would never pressure his partner into anything he didn’t desire, but he did find fascinating how he had managed to not touch him yet.

\- Or perhaps, you are lying to me – the nerd finally spoke up again, and Remus’s eyes somehow got wider, stunned into silence.

The soft touch of Logan’s hand moving over to his exposed neck, combined with the small inclination into his personal space visibly stole Remus’s breath away, and the sound of his knuckles cracking echoed in the small bathroom as he strongly curled his hands into fists, surprisingly still holding back. In the meantime, the logical side seemed amused by all of this, that little devious smirk of his making its way onto his lips as his fingertips kept going, brushing just under his jaw, and he was so close to losing it.

Logan did notice, however, that even by masking his facial expressions and general posture, Remus’s eyes were once again glowing that fascinating radioactive shade, almost flickering at times, right before the duke was forced to blink, and the nerd’s pride bubbled violently in his chest as he held onto that fact, determined into figuring out what could have possibly triggered such unusual and apparent distressed reactions out of someone that, given his own position as a side, shouldn’t be affected by much.

\- For someone that has interacted with Deceit for so many years, I took that your falsehood crafting skills would be sharper than this.

Neither of them was sure what made Remus snap quite like this, his grip of Logan’s hips tight and bruising as he shoved him against the tiled shower wall, but the logical side accepted the blow with barely any evident surprise in his features, even as the duke started growling loudly on the back of his throat. His pupils seemed to burn brighter the longer Logan stared at them, and perhaps they truly held some sort of chemical reaction, enabling the one trapped in their gaze to experience a rise in their body temperature as they were frozen in place, allowing the dark side to do with them whatever he desired. It wouldn’t be a completely nonsensical hypothesis, or one that he minded.

The tiles felt so cold against his heated skin, and the chilly contrast bit more harshly against Logan’s back as Remus disposed of their remaining clothes with a dramatic stretch of fingers, their bodies flushing together as the duke trapped him against the wall. The logical side couldn’t deny the warm touch was pleasant, to say the least, and finding that Remus was already showing physical evidence of arousal filled him with a distorted sense of fulfilment that only grew, as poorly treated lips found their way into the crook of his neck, kissing and biting impatiently at the sensitive skin.

\- You, still haven’t answered me – Logan managed to push between pants, his hands quickly finding his way around his lover, but that seemed to only anger Remus further.

Before Logic could fully understand what had made the other so upset, the duke was thrusting his hips forward, his very hard erection brushing against Logan’s still soft parts, igniting a sharp gasp of surprise out of him. He assumed it would be a onetime thing, a vengeful movement for all the teasing he had been carrying out for the last few minutes, but Remus’s eyes glowed more intensely, his pupils barely visible over the slight shadow it casted, and he kept grinding into him, driving him up against the wall as his grunts echoed in the space around them.

Once again, it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, and Logan could rest back and enjoy as the familiar and steady heat engulfed every inch of his body, his muscles tightening and his face relaxing as he brought them even closer, and as their chests brushed together, Remus let out a weak, afflictive whimper, his nails sinking into the already abused skin of Logic’s hips. The sudden, pointed pain shocked him a bit out of the scene, since usually the dark side would have completely immobilized him by now, the only noises he’d provide being the slick, harsh wetness of their intercourse and the occasional pleased chuckle by the time Logan would start begging, and the abrupt and clear change had the logical side worrying for his lover more than he had ever experienced.

\- Remus? – he hushed out of his dry throat, holding onto him firmly to offer him some sort of comfort.

Speaking made the side in question jump out of his skin, apparently, and then brought him to hide his face on Logan’s neck as his hands moved onto his lower back, and Logic was almost conflicted by how much his concern for the other grew, his heart pounding painfully in his ribcage as the lust melted into apprehension. Remus was never this silent, unless he was hiding something or was caught red handed, and none of those options were unfolding as of that moment.

\- Remus, I can only understand what’s concerning you if-

\- I love hearing your nerdy voice, but please- just- don’t.

And once again, the fact that the duke seemed to be genuinely and openly complimenting him, with none of his typical flirting or amusing harmless insults opened a figurative hole in Logan’s stomach. His palms itched with the slight nervousness that was quickly building up, and the logical side decided right then and there that he needed to face Remus, moving his sweaty hands to hold onto his shoulders.

He met some resistance, along with a quiet whine and a tightening of the grip around his waist, but eventually, and despite the contradictory fact that the dark Creativity was much stronger and more stubborn than him, his terrible mustache and glowing green eyes came back into view, and the frown settled between his eyebrows from how out of place that radioactive reaction felt now.

\- If I made any inappropriate advances, I sincerely offer my apologies-

\- What? – Remus pipped in, so confused that the intense green hue in his eyes flickered multiple times before settling in, a bit weaker than before. – I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.

\- And I am – Logan retorted, indignation clear in his eyes. – But from your reactions, I deducted that-

\- Well, you deducted wrong, mister Sherlock.

And the logical side really wanted to fight back and destroy his ego with a quickly and sharply crafted disstrack, but he couldn’t ignore the sad undertone to his voice and the minor shaking that overtook the hands still touching him. That awful green, figuratively burning into his soul, was also starting to get on his nerves, his very short temper really not appreciating the need to restrain himself, but Logan trusted his own abilities to not be a completely and utter jerk if he could avoid it.

\- Have I? – he started, meeting his gaze straight on, and that seemed to catch his partner off guard. – Or have you simply not realized that your reactions and body language have been quite out of character for you?

The silence that stretched out after that was much heavier than what either of them could have predicted. From Remus’s expressions alone, he appeared completely disconnected from reality, dissociating, if you will, but Logan misjudged just how invested in the situation he truly was, feeling one of his hands pulling away from his body and then proceeding to quickly turn off the lights, a quick closing of his fist setting everything into motion. Not that the darkness had ever bothered him, it was simply an inconvenient when one needed to do something, and couldn’t exactly see what or where that task was. So he voiced that, like any reasonable person would.

\- Why have you turned off the lights?

He got no reply in return, and Remus must have been childishly closing his eyes to stop him from seeing the incredibly out of place phenomenon that was happening, but his touch was still there, like his last hang onto sanity, and Logan couldn’t help but sigh.

\- If you are fixated on being stubborn, please step away and let me shower like I intended to in the first place.

That must have come out a bit more harshly or upset than he intended, because the pitiful noise that came out of Remus embarrassingly reverberated around the small bathroom, and even through the thick curtain of darkness, Logan realized the duke had intended to step closer to him before that happened. In compensation, and despite his lack of appreciation for cuddles, the logical side stretched out his arms and wrapped them around the approximate location of his partner, surprising him enough to force him to open his eyes.

The weak green glow illuminated his face partially, and some portions of their connected bodies, and the light blush dusted across his cheeks was a nice addition to the sudden intimate atmosphere. Logan might be dense, but not to the extent of not realizing a dark side, of all people, was hiding something, and with enough intensity that it translated into shame.

\- I just... – Remus whispered quietly after a beat of silence, hiding his face in his shoulder. – I don’t want to hurt you.

Logan stared down at him in the dark, blinking in confusion at such a weak tone.

\- You do realize who you are talking to, correct?

Without the aid of facial features to confirm the other’s emotions, the logical side could only focus on the slight tickle of his mustache against his bare skin, as his lips curled into a pout.

\- Yes, I know- you don’t have emotions or whatever, but – he leaned more of his weight into him and squeezed him just a bit too tightly. – I still, don’t want to do something that will make you leave me.

There was a flicker of disbelief as an immediate reaction to his words, but it was quickly enveloped by puzzlement, and then cold and concrete facts. There was no obvious logical reason for his unusual behavior, but there was a new factor playing into their interactions – his mysterious ocular demonstration -, along with the predominant need to stand in darkness, and Logan was sure that was not just a simple practice conducted in the Dark Mind Palace, given that neither Virgil nor Janus displayed such actions.

In conclusion, these particular conducts were specific to Remus, and more so, to some distinct and separate occurrence that only he experienced, and Logan was starting to feel slightly awkward at the thought of trying to actively comfort him, even though he was aware that was one of the many requirements that came with his romantic standing towards the other.

\- If anything, I believe the only possible circumstance where I’d resource to that outcome would be, at the moment in time where I could openly say I wasn’t content with our ehr, arrangement.

His hand came up to adjust his glasses, an unconscious tic he had acquired throughout the years, as a way to visibly punctuate the ending of his arguments or sentences, but it came off as more of a nervous reaction than a solid movement, considering he wasn’t wearing his specs and therefore, only grasped the air when he tried to do so.

\- And I can honestly admit, that is not the case.

Remus’s whole figure physically relaxed in his arms, the green shadow cast in the small space between them getting substantially diminished, and they met each other’s eyes as Remus’s sharp smile showed off all of his impressively pointed teeth.

\- Well, why didn’t you said that sooner?! – his voice was back to that typical screech of his, painfully echoing inside of Logan’s head, but he somehow missed the ache that came with it. – If you had confessed sooner, I wouldn’t need to feel like a sinner for impulsively imagining how it would be like to rape you senseless, in multiple positions.

He wasn’t sure how it was physically possible, but the silence felt heavy and cold, as it floated and filled the dark bathroom, and Logic, for once in his life, was thorn on how to act. Part of him was aware that Remus had basically admitted that he had been having intrusive thoughts on the subject, for what appeared to be a few hours now, which should have been bothersome, to say the very least. The logical side would never judge anyone for something they couldn’t control or had no word in the making, but his choice of words sure had been... interesting. It almost implied Remus would enjoy something like that, if only at first glance.

The not so mysterious radioactive reaction didn’t return, which confirmed to Logan that it was, indeed, something connected with the unwanted visuals and/or desires that had been plaguing his partner’s mind, which he might have accidentally worsened, now that he considered it, but even in the room devoided of light, the nerd could tell that Remus had regretted ever voicing them, his touch retreating after freezing for a brief moment. 

Logan let him move away like so, not intending on degrading his mental state further, but the duke seemed to be having trouble breathing, or on how to speak clearly, because the logical side could hear the short intakes of air picking up, followed by a trembling chuckle.

\- I mean, I guess I shouldn’t hide it now that I went and said that but – Remus sounded so feeble, like a simple gust of wind could make him fall and crumble onto the ground. – I-I just... everywhere I looked, I could only see _it._ You and me, on every surface possible, and- and you looked in pain – not the good kind – and you were yelling and the noises-

\- Remus, I need you to breathe with me – Logan spoke before realizing, his hand stretching into the darkness and coming out empty.

The duke appeared much more frantic now, delirious even, as his eyes quickly started glowing green again, and Logic watched in horror as the tears glistered brightly in front of the light source, wetting his eyelashes and hanging by a tread, before bouncing on his cheeks and falling into the darkness.

\- I-It’s because I still can do that that I can still _see **everything**_ – his hands came up and messily rubbed the tear tracks away, but soon, new droplets were replacing the ones that came before that, and the sniffing was quickly adding to the discomfort Remus surely felt. – You have no idea how it feels like to **feel** yourself moving and laughing, a-and hurting and the b-blood-

\- Remus-

\- While s-standing right there, just chilling-

\- Remus. – he tried again, more urgently, and the green glow only seem to gain more intensity as Logan attempted to approach him.

The logical side had expected the other side to cry out, to push him, to run away. A million outcomes ran through his mind as Remus gasped for air, and the most likely possibility was for him to start screaming the sentence he still intended on finishing, but surprisingly, the dark side just broke down crying, more messily and louder than before; dramatic like everything he did. Logan could only stare at him for a moment as the other curled up on himself, the green hidden against the knees hugged to his chest, and the only comforting action he could picture was kneeling down with him, accepting the slippery cold sensation of the porcelain as Remus’s sobs echoed around the bathroom.

By the convulsions of his shoulders, it seemed like the duke had been neglecting his well being for a bit too long, and knowing him, and in a way, his own twin, the immense pride that usually stopped both from admitting and showing their emotions honestly, probably played a role on how visibly serious the crying scene in front of him truly was.

Logan doesn’t know what had urged him to move like this, but at some point, his hand had reached in the direction of the sobbing, finding Remus’s hair and slowly tangling itself between his strands. The other hadn’t felt it at first, too overwhelmed to sense anything, he supposed, but once the unexperienced petting started, the crying quickly died out, despite the tears still rolling down his cheeks, and the most pitiful expression stared at Logan, snot and tears disgustingly spread everywhere.

There was a brief cleaning moment, after the logical side summoned a tissue and gently gathered his, uhm, bodily sadness secretions, and Remus sniffled once he was done with that, staring at him with the tamest, most heartwarming expression, but somehow, Logan was more focused on the fact that his apparent makeup hadn’t run out or stained the paper he was holding. He was quickly shaken from his thoughts by the sudden lap full of Remus, their still very naked bodies rubbing and sliding together as the duke hugged him and forcibly tucked his head under his chin.

If his heart started pounding, or if his chest warmed up, it was all a series of coincidences, totally not related to the fact that Remus was being so calm and gentle for once, practically thanking him in his own way. If his hand found his way back into his hair, actually appreciating the steady brushing of his strands against his fingers, yep, you guessed it, just another coincidence.

\- Would you like to talk about what just happened? – Logan mumbled quietly, hoping his voice wouldn’t feel overpowering before such a fragile, new situation.

Remus seemed to consider it to himself for a bit, his eyes still emitting a soft hue, but not clear enough to project light around them like before, and after a short moment, the duke shook his head vigorously, only managing to tangle Logan’s fingers into his hair further.

\- I don’t mean uh, messily describing your intrusive thoughts like you so nervously did – the nerd started, a small smile tickling across his lips. – I was referring to the period of time for which they have lasted. The particular ones that you mentioned.

The dark side didn’t seem to have processed his words to begin with, no physical reaction coming from him as Logan stopped speaking, and the nerd wasn’t sure if the lack of blinking should be taken as a sign of normalcy or not.

\- I think... I guess like, since the beginning of the week??

The fact that the tiredness and the shame weighted down on his words made Logan’s heart figuratively drop with them, and he could barely imagine how it must have felt like, to have the same, persistent, nagging visual pocking at his brain at every waking hour of every day.

\- Have you spoken about this to anyone?

\- Why would I? – he sounded confused now, if not defensive. – I mean, if it was my fantasies, I’d prolly go annoy the All Mighty Emo with them, but it’s not exactly that so.

He punctuated the end of his sentence with a shrug, and Logan wished he could look into Remus’s brain and see for himself all the incredibly contradictory and unpredictable ways that made him act and say the things that he did.

\- Why would you not? - he suggested, a smirk tugging at his lips. – After all, it would spark the same reaction out of Virgil, and I’m sure he wouldn’t notice the difference.

There was a quiet, stubborn grumble as Remus shifted around, and Logan never got an answer back, shifting most of his energy into holding back his laughter, reminding himself to keep his posture and reactions professional. At some point, the logical side realized the bathroom had returned to total darkness, only feeling a bit disappointed that this new, interesting source of lighting had become so useful, and he could only sigh, in the quietest way possible; holding Remus at arm’s length before attempting to bring them both back to his feet.

He hadn’t showered yet, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Remus was OOC as heck, but idk, I kinda see him as being capable of being soft like that?? Like, just like Virgil has anxiety and doesnt handle it well, it doesnt mean that Remus, if he was to have intrusive thoughts, would be any more equipped to manage them. Thats how the hypersexual bit ties into it. Maybe its just me, but sexual intrusive thoughts, no matter how disgusting or horrendous they might be, are always a bother to handle because my body gets hypersexual in response to them, so i thought that could be something that would make sense for Remus's character in this situation, and thats why he tries to fight the thoughts by getting all over Logan.   
> Does that make any sense? As a sex repulsed ace person this things get so freaking messy, man


End file.
